If the project I’m doing is guaranteed to work then it’s probably not worth doing.
I appreciate the tolerance shown by my readers over the last week as I have been unpacking the failure of the full time RVing experiment. I’m legitimately not discouraged by it. If anything I feel much better for having made a decision and being able to cross something off my list. This enables me to focus on the next project. It too, might fail. This fills me with excitement and yes, hope.
Risk and suffering are key ingredients in the process of creating art. I know that running and hiding from these inevitabilities is the fastest way to stop creating something that can change the world. Note my use of the word can in the preceding sentence. It might not work.
The important question is what is worth the risk, the likelihood of failure?
That is where my current struggle is taking place. I have things to say, things to share and show–but there is fear. Fear that a removal of the filter could destroy so much that I and many of you have labored to create through this community. Conversely, there is an intense curiosity about what change–what impact could be generated from no longer caring what people think? Better yet, what could come from challenging what people think with intention?
I know deep down what is worth doing. Waiting for permission is not a characteristic of something worth doing.
I feel as though what I do here is a lot like spinach. If you give it to Popeye it gets things done. Leads to action. Stirs things up. Alternately, if it sits in the fridge just a little too long it gets watery, soggy and limp. There’s a really narrow edge I am walking between impact and drivel. The reality is that the world isn’t changed by climbing.
The onus is upon me to make sure I am saying something that needs to be heard or the climbing just becomes fluff instead of a vehicle for an important message of change. Visibility for it’s own sake is useless. What is on the billboard and is it worth reading?
This is a game of pursuing failure with intention. If I start playing my hardest, I just may win that game. That’s partly what I’m afraid of.