Ever have a night where you stay up for hours writing what you are certain is a very poignant blog only to wind up re reading it the next day and deleting the whole thing? I had one of those nights last night. I will summarize:
I read a study that deals with the link between diabetes and brain shrinkage. It basically states that people with diabetes are likely to experience loss of memory and difficulty processing emotions. I have experienced both of those phenomena in spades over the last 5 years especially and I never really put two and two together. This was a huge drag and made me feel hopeless and depressed because I have noticed these symptoms despite having a track record of excellent blood glucose control. I also have been reading about the reality of death in climbing and the ways that it can be a compulsive behavior that is used to quiet personal demons and that also put me in a very melancholy frame of mind. There were some other things that I wrote but I forgot what they were so I just got really fed up and decided to move onto something more relevant…
I cant really afford to fixate on things that I can’t control, so my mission is essentially the same as before. Climb safe, take nothing for granted and manage my diabetes rather than it managing me. It definitely rattled me though, but I dont really have the luxury of entertaining those kinds of fears right now and ideally I’ll be able to stay busy enough for the rest of my days that I never have the time to stew over things beyond my control. Do more, fret less.
So. Here is what I am choosing to focus on: I am in one of the most incredible places in the world and I have an awesome climbing partner (Rob) who is again graciously hosting me. I have been getting out with him and also shooting a lot, which has been really good.
My license plates get here tomorrow-finally. Rob has decided not to let me leave because next week is my birthday and we are going to celebrate in fine style by climbing another big wall here in Zion taking a couple days and really doing it up now that the weather is cool enough. Think Moonlight buttress only a bit taller and better hydration and BGs (hopefully!). Oh and I’ll officially be a year older. Hopefully the Alzheimers will kick in by next week and I’ll forget my age enough to crush it on Prodigal Son!
In other uplifting news, Stefanie will be rejoining me shortly after my birthday and we will be climbing together in Squamish, The Bugaboos and points eastward from there as we try to make up for lost time and cover some ground on the itinerary. I can’t explain how hard it has been being away from her, and it’s probably better that I don’t try because that won’t help me make it day by day, but suffice to say, it totally bites being without her and it will be refreshing to get back on the road with her on board even if its only for a couple of weeks.
I am keeping a running tally of my vertical gains and as of day 232 I am at 47,780 ft. I am hoping to break 100k by the end of the project. Big days and small days, they all are adding up but I am excited to have some bigger days coming together (starting on my birthday) and lots of long cruiser routes in British Columbia and Wyoming that will happen later this month!
Shooting all this on my own has been tricky but it’s keeping me psyched for what is coming next! Momentum in the project and some long routes with two of my favorite people! Until then I’ll be doing all the guess work and head scratching that is part and parcel of documenting my journey!